


Let Me See

by dendriticgold



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9337412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dendriticgold/pseuds/dendriticgold
Summary: Established relationship, but there's one thing that still makes Thomas blush.





	1. Chapter 1

They were both on their backs. The sheets were twisted round their sticky thighs. The sunlight played off their bare chests; one smooth and tan, the other white and darkened with wiry black hairs. 

Janek huffed out a great breath to the ceiling. 

‘Mmmmm…yes.’ The word was a triumphant hiss. 

‘Yes.’ Thomas echoed, as much as his frantic panting would let him. ‘Whoooo….’ He raised a shaking arm up to rest his palm between the pillow and his head. ‘Yes.’ The word was still barely a whisper.

‘You alright there, Mr Barrow?’ Janek turned his head with a smirk. The smirk fell away into something more gentle as he nuzzled his forehead against the exposed underside of Thomas’s bicep.

Thomas puffed out his cheeks. ‘Give me a minute.’

Janek chuckled and turned onto his side. He ran a hand across Thomas’s chest, coming to a stop at his ribs to hold him close. 

‘Mmmm…’ Janek murmured. Thomas echoed the sentiment. 

‘Worth the walk?’ Janek inclined his head a little to drawl in Thomas’s ear.

‘I can’t imagine…’ Thomas said, recovered enough to be cheeky. ‘…any bloke being so happy to have his head buried in another bloke’s armpit.’

Janek raised his head to laugh. He always laughed at the merest hint of vulgarity from Thomas. 

Thomas took advantage and dropped his arm round Janek’s neck, pulling him in. A moment later and Janek was on top of him again. 

The skin of their lower halves was mostly shielded by the sheets, but Thomas found the weight delectable nonetheless. 

He let Janek cover him with a kiss before pushing him off with a firm press of his fingers. 

The bedsprings creaked in protest. Janek put his head back to Thomas’s ear and gave a murmur akin to the purr of a cat. 

Thomas chuckled. 

‘This is nice.’ Thomas said. The words came out of his mouth before he could consciously think them. 

‘It is.’ Said Janek. 

He reached over to take Thomas’s right hand in his left and pushed it under the crumpled sheet. 

Thomas’s brow crinkled in surprise that wasn’t wholly unpleasant as Janek guided his hand down, to Thomas’s cock rather than his own. 

Thomas paused, eyes closing involuntarily as he was guided to make a gentle caress against the flesh lying loose at his hip. 

‘Wouldn’t…’ He swallowed. ‘…wouldn’t this be more fun on your own?’

‘No.’ Janek replied, tugging Thomas’s hand up and down, rolling lazily around, until Thomas began to make the movements himself. ‘This is good.’ Janek mumbled into Thomas’s neck, nose and cheek pressed to Thomas’s pulse. Janek’s hand rested lightly on Thomas’s hip. 

Thomas was spent. Completely and utterly spent. An hour of enthusiastic rogering could do that to a bloke. But there was a luxurious glow being coaxed out by his tentative fingers nonetheless. And yes, perhaps a little hardness returning. 

‘Mmmm…’ Thomas close his eyes. 

The room around him vanished. The tips of his fingers found his thumb around the shaft and began to pump. 

His eyes flew open as he felt the sheet shifting, remembering he was not alone. 

‘What are you doing?’ Thomas released his grip and grabbed at the sheet with both hands. 

‘I want to see.’ Said Janek. 

‘You’ve seen it.’ Said Thomas, clutching the sheets to his chest. 

‘I want to see what you do.’ 

Thomas noticed that Janek’s voice had taken on a hint of his natural foreign lilt. A tone reserved for sentiments of deep truth. 

That realisation made Thomas’s embarrassment all the more acute. 

‘That’s private, like.’ Thomas said, trying to sound nonchalant. 

‘Private?’ Janek laughed. And it was a slightly cutting laugh. Thomas didn’t need Janek to elaborate on the point that far more…intimate…things had been seen between them.

‘Yes, private.’ Thomas’s cheeks felt uncomfortably hot.

But of course, Janek wouldn’t let it rest at that.

‘Why?’ He asked, with all the matter-of-fact probity of a doctor.

‘Because I say so.’ Thomas replied. 

It was an unsatisfactory response if ever there was one. He quickly followed it up to pre-empt a rebuttal. 

‘It’s what’s done when no one’s around…’ Thomas said firmly. His memory twinged, and he eagerly seized upon a way to redirect the conversation. ‘…apart from when a bloke wants to shock a butler, apparently.’

Janek snorted. 

‘Well I’m glad you find that funny.’ Thomas said. He tossed his head against the pillow as though that gave him any superiority over the man pressed against his side. ‘Carson didn’t. That’s why you got this cottage when you were hired handy man…’ Thomas took a moment to pause at the inappropriately appropriate job title. ‘…’cause Carson wouldn’t take the chance of walking in on you…doing yourself, again, like he did on the staff corridor when you first came here.’

Janek snorted again. ‘A very happy outcome.’ He said, reaching to run calloused fingers down the side of Thomas’s neck. 

‘Well…’ Thomas looked up at the ceiling that sloped into the eaves of the cottage. ‘…yes, but still…’

‘Still, what?’

Thomas wanted to say ‘Still them things are meant to be private’ but instead the words ‘What did you do, to shock him so?’ came out of his mouth.

Janek nuzzled at his neck. ‘Thought that was clear…’ His mumbling words tickled at Thomas’s skin. 

‘Yes, I know, but…’ Thomas shifted. Janek moved with him, staying close. ‘…what did you do? I mean, Carson’s a man too, he must be familiar with the…’ Thomas’s words tailed off, along with his erection. He wasn’t entirely convinced in that moment that he’d ever get it back.

‘That he must be.’ Janek smirked, looking not the least bit put off. 

‘So what were you doing?’

‘Why do you ask?’ Janek replied smartly.

Thomas went to open his mouth to reply then closed it again quickly. Dark curiosity was the only truthful response, and he imagined Janek’s sheet-lifting tendencies stemmed from a similar place. 

‘I just…’ Thomas began, looking about the room for inspiration. Instead he found the time, glaring at him from the pocket-watch he had propped on the table by the bed. ‘Shit!’

Thomas was up and out of the bed in a flash, naked body parts flailing and twitching every whichway as he fumbled for his clothes. 

‘Ugh!’ Janek had gone to sit up but quickly flopped back against the pillows. ‘Already?’

‘What do you mean ‘already’? I’m bloody late.’ Thomas bent down to retrieve his trousers. 

Janek raised both hands above his head, stretching to the wall, smiling at the sight of Thomas’s clumsiness as he hurried to find his clothes. 

‘Will you be back tonight?’ He said.

‘No.’ Thomas paused long enough to glare with his underwear half-way up his sticky thighs. ‘They’ve already seen me walking down here once today.’

‘Tomorrow?’ Janek watched keenly as Thomas’s pale skin was jostled into its usual tight fabric coverings. 

Thomas winced as he bend down for his shirt. ‘Don’t think so…’ He deliberately kept his face to the wall as he buttoned his shirt. ‘We’ve a busy one up at the house tomorrow.’

Janek’s considerable arms thumped down hard onto the mattress. ‘Next year then, yes?’ He said sourly to the ceiling. 

‘Don’t start.’ Thomas said to his shoes as he sat on the bed to lace them. ‘You can come and go in the house as you please. I’ve got duties near every hour of every day.’ He sniffed, a bitter gesture that almost became a laugh. ‘And I’ve already been hearing jokes about how many pairs of underwear I’m putting through the laundry room lately.’

‘You know you could clean yourself up here before you go…’

‘Time, Janek.’ Thomas bit back, grabbing his watch off the bedside table and heading for the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thomas didn’t visit Janek’s cottage that night. Or the day after. 

Things were busy in the house, as anticipated. Or at least Thomas was keeping busy. Making himself busy, to be truthful. Trying to deflect any suspicion regarding his increasingly frequent ‘walks’ out of the Abbey towards the small hamlet of cottages nearby.

Janek hadn’t taken any of his meals in the servant’s hall. That was par for the course since he’d gotten settled in. 

Thomas wasn’t sure how to re-open the lines of communication since their last frosty farewell. So it was somewhat awkward when he entered the library one day to find Janek on the floor tending to the plug socket. 

Thomas was there to set up for Lady Grantham’s afternoon tea party, one she was throwing for the newly formed Hospital Benefactory Collegiate. Janek was evidently there to fix the electrics. 

Had time not been tight, Thomas would have spun about on his heel and come back later. But as it was the library table needed setting. 

‘Afternoon…’ Thomas offered curtly as he entered. 

‘Good day, Mr Barrow.’ Janek hissed and dropped his screwdriver, evidently having jammed it into his thumb at the interruption. 

The tea tray clinked gently against the table as Thomas set it down. Thomas moved over to the desk by the window. His fingers worked quickly to arrange the Bourbon tray into a slightly more orderly display. Lord Grantham wouldn’t take too kindly to the ladies of the Collegiate noting that the whisky had already been attacked so early in the day. 

‘I missed you last night...’ 

Now it was Thomas’s turn to jump at an unexpected interruption. Janek had somehow managed to extract himself from the floor, set down his tools, and move in close without Thomas hearing. 

‘…and the night before.’ Janek’s chin rested lightly on Thomas’s shoulder. 

Thomas set his jaw. ‘You need to move back.’ He said softly.

‘I will.’ Said Janek simply. 

Thomas’s sides tingled as though Janek’s hands were there, though a quick glance back confirmed that Janek had both hands safely contained in his pockets. 

‘I was thinking about your question.’ Said Janek.

Thomas shunted the Bourbon bottle back into a more ornamental position. 

‘Question?’

‘About Mr Carson…’ Janek said. ‘…about what I was doing when Mr Carson came in.’

‘Time and place, Janek.’ Thomas re-arranged the empty crystal glasses. He took hold of the one with drops of whisky still glistening on the rim with a shaking hand. ‘This is not the time and…’

‘It was nothing really.’ Said Janek, chin still on Thomas’s shoulders, hands still in his pockets. ‘I was just looking after meself, you know, like I often do.’

‘Just…’

‘On my back, of course.’ Janek continued, his voice a low murmur that sent shivers down Thomas’s back. ‘No clothes…I always get too hot for them when I’m…you know.’

‘I don’t know, just…’

Janek cleared his throat and gave a low chuckle, the kind that comes from happy memories. 

‘I had my head below the pillow. My legs open. Hips high. So high. And the blood just…rushing down. Shoulder’s all a’ strain, you know…’

Thomas didn’t know. But he knew enough about the configuration of Bate’s old room to know that Janek’s open legs, and the view therein, would have been pointed towards the door.

He tried to blink away the image. 

‘I’m very firm…’ Janek continued. ‘…in my work.’

‘I don’t doubt it.’ Thomas managed. 

‘This hand here…’ Janek’s left hand appeared in Thomas’s peripheral vision. ‘…gripped tight, not moving, so’s I could jam up into it. And my legs all wide. Feet almost coming off the bed, you know…’

Thomas’s mind’s-eye Janek spread accordingly, and Thomas’s face was suddenly warm in the extreme. 

‘It was such a strain. Clenching my teeth, feeling all that warm in my body. Trying hard to breath, letting that air out when I had to. And I had to, Thomas.’

Thomas had to let some air out too. 

‘The bed was all rattling under me, and me gripped so tight. So tight. I had to…’

There were footsteps. And a sudden cold behind Thomas as Janek quickly withdrew from his shoulder. But Janek stayed close. 

‘Mr Carson!’ Said Janek. ‘I’m worried about Mr Barrow, Sir.’

‘Mr Barrow?’ Carson’s gruffness sounded from by the entryway. 

Thomas didn’t move. He had a damn inconvenient and insistent erection pulsing against the edge of the table and didn’t trust himself to breathe, let alone speak. 

‘He said he’s come over all warm, Mr Carson.’ Janek’s voice was the perfect pitch of concern and propriety.

Thomas cursed him in his mind. 

‘Are you feeling quite well, Mr Barrow?’ Carson was across the room in a flash. Thomas was forced to turn towards him and found the back of a cool hand pressed against his forehead. 

‘You are looking rather flush, Mr Barrow.’ 

Thomas couldn’t help but shrink back from Carson’s hand, praying the man would look no lower than his pink cheeks. 

‘I say to him he should go and lie down, Mr Carson.’ Said Janek. 

‘Yes…’ Said Carson, eyeing Thomas’s face in concern. ‘…yes, I think you’d best, Mr Barrow.’ He stepped back, now looking to Janek. ‘Mr Biel, would you be so kind as to see Mr Barrow to the staff quarters?’

‘Ah…Mr Carson…’ Janek indicated over to the plug socket. ‘…I would, but I think I’d better be putting this mess down here to rights before her Ladyship’s guests arrive.’

Carson nodded briskly. ‘Quite right, quite right…’

‘I can see myself there, Mr Carson.’ Thomas managed with some difficulty, fighting the urge to bring both hands to his front to shield his crotch. 

Carson nodded again. 

Thomas brushed past him and out the room as quick as his legs could carry him.

Thomas thought the words ‘I’m going to bloody kill you’ so loud that he was sure Janek heard him as he went. 

He made his way downstairs to the servant’s hall. Initially he meant to grab a smoke in the yard until his temples stopped pounding, but his blood was up too much for that. 

He made some noise amongst the staff downstairs about his not feeling well, and announced he was going for a walk to get some air. No one stopped him, that was a mercy. 

Thomas took himself off through the gardens and to the woods, in the opposite direction of the cottages. He took a good, long, uncomfortable walk in a long circle around the house. It was starting to get dark by the time he’d come back round to his starting point, but he still felt hot like the height of a summer’s day.

He turned and headed for the cottages. He was going to have it out with Janek. Oh yes, he was going to. He was going to give that sod a goddamned piece of his mind, straining erection notwithstanding. 

The arousal had gone no place in the past few hours. Every time it tried to shrink Thomas’s mind offered up a thumping mattress and thrusting thighs. Not to mention a seething anger that only seemed to feed it. 

Thomas was sure Janek must be back by that time of the evening. But the cottage was dark. 

Thomas let himself in, he’d had a spare key cut several weeks earlier, and clomped over the floor. 

He didn’t light any lamps, he didn’t kindle the embers in the fire. His thoughts only had room for one need. 

One desperate need. 

One that clearly wasn’t going anywhere without attention and that would severely impede his ability to offer a sound telling off unless attended to.

Thomas lurched over to the small countertop in the kitchenette. He took hold of it with one hand, and with the other he undid as many buttons on his waistcoat and trousers necessary to pull himself out.

He gave a few tugs, far harder than he usually would, before deciding that he was damned if he was going to mess another pair of underwear.

He got his trousers and his underthings down to his knees before continuing. 

Thomas had only attended to himself in bed before, aside from the very rare occasion in the bath when he could be sure he wouldn’t be disturbed. Doing it standing, well it soon transpired that was a whole other situation entirely.   

His straining thighs heightened the feeling in a way he couldn’t have imagined. Simultaneously sending crackling electric to his erection, taken firm in hand, while at the same time promising that release would be delayed. 

He tugged tight, again and again, knuckles white against the countertop. His breath coming out in frantic gasps in the dark room. 

He heard the door go, but he didn’t stop. 

No time to put himself to rights now, even if he’d wanted to.

‘Fuck you.’ He breathed out moments before Janek’s warmth pressed against his back. 

Janek made a noncommittal noise, chin again resting against Thomas’s shoulder. 

‘Seriously, fuck you.’ Thomas said again, this time stronger. 

He felt Janek’s hands come around to rest lightly on the backs of both his hands. 

‘Please…’ Janek whispered. 

Thomas glanced to the side. In the failing light from the kitchen window he saw that Janek’s eyes were closed. 

Somehow that gave Thomas what he needed to continue. 

His right hand moved up and down again, testing, experimental. Janek’s light grip moved too, hand never leaving Thomas’s. 

Thomas’s movements became more regular, back to how they were before he had been so softly interrupted. 

Janek said nothing, did nothing, only felt every movement Thomas made with his hand. Silent and scholarly, enjoying Thomas’s movements maybe, but studying them certainly. 

With Janek holding him, Thomas no longer needed the kitchen counter to brace against. 

He leaned against Janek’s chest, and true to form Janek’s solid bulk kept him standing. 

Thomas began to slip sweetly and franticly up and down himself, no longer in anger, now just the practiced and efficient movements of several decades of secret self-care. 

He lost himself in the moment. His left hand left the kitchen counter and moved down to slide against the soft inner of his thigh, the one luxury he sometimes allowed himself when time permitted. Something he liked. He didn’t know why, but he liked it. And aside from the occasional rubbing of another man’s hips as they thrusted, he very rarely got it. 

Janek’s hand moved with Thomas’s, still lightly gripping against the back of Thomas’s hand and wrist.

Thomas felt Janek’s chin bearing down into his shoulder and neck a little more firmly. 

‘You like it fast…’ Said Janek as Thomas’s hand continued to work his shaft. Thomas’s jacket rumpled under Janek’s chin as he spoke. 

Thomas made a mental note to tell Janek, at a time when he had more breath to spare, that it wasn’t exactly that he liked it fast. It was just that he never had much time to do it any other way than fast and silent. 

Thomas belatedly remembered that he was supposed to be embarrassed, but he was too far gone to do much about it. 

‘…and you like this.’ The hand that Janek had pressed over the one between Thomas’s thighs slipped free. Strong calloused fingers slid in above Thomas’s, caressing the sensitive skin, tugging over it just so. Sliding deliciously between Thomas’s bare thighs then back again. 

‘Oh…’

Janek gripped hard. Thomas came. 

Thomas took the time to grab a cloth off the counter to clean himself off, and waited for Janek to retrieve an old bottle of whisky from under the counter, before letting loose with the mother of all lectures. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came from @knullabulla's excellent comment on Chapter 40 of Bolt for the Blue. Thank you so much for reading. Will do other stories when I can.


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